Thursday, June 16, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Hey, it worked for Perez Hilton. Now people read about him. And his fabulous outfits.
Since the ladies of History's Hotties are snobs of the past, we tend to treat notables of days gone by as veritable celebrities of their own right. If you've read our blog in the past, you probably have a pretty good idea as to whose lives we like to "celebrify."
For instance, I enjoy Keith Moon. Just a reminder.
All affection for The Who aside, I must admit that one of my favorite historical hotties is actually not so overwhelmingly sexy. (But who is sexier than Keith Moon, really?) Not physically, anyway. If you regularly read our blog (which would be difficult, since we haven't posted in a couple of months), you know that I find articulate and motivated men more attractive than perhaps any others. That being said, I'm sure it comes as no surprise than one of my favorite men of the past is Alexander Hamilton.
Yes, that man there.
An orphan from the Caribbean, good old Alex was sent to what is now Columbia University with money raised by his friends and neighbors. The people around him saw clearly what you, too, will soon recognize: Hamilton was destined for great things. Like the $10 bill thing.
Hamilton was a bit impatient, though. Certainly not one to wait for greatness to fall into his lap. So he essentially flipped off his kind Caribbean benefactors, dropping out of Columbia to join the army.
Luckily for Hamilton, George Washington himself sought a fiery aide-de-camp of questionable birth. With this connection, Hamilton rose quickly through the ranks of popular memory.
Perhaps nothing contributed to Hamilton's social ascension as much as his marriage to Elizabeth Schuyler. Elizabeth, known to Hamilton as Betsey, was the second-eldest daughter of American commander Philip Schuyler. Philip Schuyler? Who is that? Unlesss you know any absurdly hip young parents, the name "Schuyler" probably means nothing to you.
Philip Schuyler was a well-bred, well-connected Dutchman who dabbled in politics, business, and military affairs. Schuyler was a surveyor by trade, much like his close friend George Washington. The pair were essentially the 18th-century equivalent of frat brothers.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
1) The ides of March.
2) A trip to Madame Tussaud's to find more hot men of the past for the blog. (Results: John D. Rockefeller had rather nice baby blue eyes.)
3) Creating a Twitter account! (Find and follow us on Twitter! In our infinite creativity, we have decided our user name will be Historyshotties.)
4) Talking about making a Tumblr to be updated with hilarious images and corresponding captions daily.
5) Learning about other awesome historical work being done by our peers. Please be sure to check out this blog on historical scandal by some good friends of ours! http://historicalscandals.wordpress.com
That is all for now. We promise, we will post again very soon!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Okay, not that raw.But. I can recognize a gorgeous woman just as easily as anyone else with high estrogen levels. We ladies know good looks and gumption when we see them. (How men claim themselves unable to understand which of their same-gendered peers are hot and which are not is beyond me. I'm actually not sure I believe them. As Kate once said (a few weeks ago, just before Valentine's Day), men are like "terrible puzzles from hell." They probably know full well which of their male friends are totally adorable and just refuse to admit it, to maintain that complicated mystique we ladies so stupidly find attractive.)
Anyway. I do tend to ramble. I apologize. (Only not really, because I like doing it.)
So, yeah. Lovely ladies. History's full of them. Kate's discussed some whose sensuality lay both in the physical arena and the I-am-going-to-employ-my-wiles-to-get-money arena. Gorgeous and impressively-manipulative women.
Because I'm a bit of an idealist, though, the women I find most attractive are those who were not only totally gorgeous, but who also put their minds and bodies to use for the aesthetic improvement of the world. (Rather than just the sexual improvement of rich men.) My favorite of these? Elizabeth Siddal and Christina Georgina Rossetti.
Now, if you know me at all, you know I'm a huge fan of the Pre-Raphaelites. And both of these women played crucial roles in that artistic movement. First, Lizzie Siddal.
Wearing all this needlessly heavy fabric tires me out!
Siddal is best known as the model and muse to Dante Gabriel Rossetti, and model to many of the other Pre-Raphaelites (all of these young men probably took turns with her; her heart, however, belonged to Rossetti).
John Everett Millais' "Ophelia," for which he floated Siddal in a bathtub of cold water for many hours on end. She became very, very ill after this modeling session. But Millais was right to make Shakespeare sensual like this. It's stunning and, frankly, insanely creepy.
After many years of pining after Rossetti, Siddal ended up marrying good old DGR (despite his affairs with other models). She continued to produce poetry and paintings, though none quite reaching the caliber of her husband's.
Case in point: Siddal's self-portrait...
Dante Gabriel Rossetti's "Prosperpine", for which Siddal modeled.
When she was 32, Siddal gave birth to a stillborn child. And then she herself died, from a likely-purposeful overdose of laudanum. DGR blamed himself for his wife's depression and what was almost certainly her suicide. So he sat by her coffin and painted this:
'Cause that's not weird at all...
Even in death, though, Elizabeth Siddal looked gorgeous and sensual. She had a full head of red, curly hair, which came up again and again in Pre-Raphaelite poetry and artwork for its Mary Magdalene-ness. One of DGR's poems, about a prostitute named Jenny ("Fond of a kiss and of a guniea"), was even based on Siddal and her hair. In Victorian England, hair was kind of a taboo, overtly-sexual aspect of a woman that wasn't discussed overmuch. That's the weird thing about the Pre-Raphaelites: their simultaneous love for this seedy underside of life and traditional religious values. Check out any of their poetry or artwork, and you'll see that both are glaringly present.
Anyway, on to Christina Georgina Rossetti, sister to Dante Gabriel. (Apparently their parents were fans of the three-name thing.)
She kinda looks like a Hester Prynne-type here, but check out that sensual glare!
Christina Rossetti, like her brother and sister-in-law, dabbled in various forms of artistic expression. She was far more successful when it came to poetry, though. Christina never married, but her poetry is rife with overwhelmingly romantic lines:
"For love is both and both are one in love"
"My heart is like a rainbow shell that paddles in a halcyon sea; my heart is gladder than all these because my love has come to me."
(Read "The Birthday" or "Monna Innominata" for some of the most vibrant, heartfelt love poems you'll ever encounter.)
And, ladies, as we know, romance is sensual. Sensuality is hot. Thus, CGR = hot.
I am deeply considering this hotness of which you speak.
In her famous work "Goblin Market," Christina Rossetti describes in fabulously colorful detail the corruption of one sister and her subsequent salvation by the other...in what many scholars believe is a passionate lesbian tryst. Seriously. Read the poem. It's difficult to miss.
Christina Rossetti was a dreamer, and put her faith above all else. If you look beyond that in her poetry, however (though it is impressive for its potency), it's impossible to miss her raw sensuality and desperate longing for passionate love. Her articulation of these sentiments truly are as hot as words can get.